SiLOSSiLOS

Turn a foundation check into a friend gathering

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1Who to invite

You want one friend who isn't squeamish, one who owns a good headlamp, and one who will say 'is that normal' with real concern. Three guests is plenty. Anyone who shows up with knee pads is a keeper and gets invited back every year, whether they like it or not.

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2Set up the stations

Four jobs, four corners of the outside: the crawlspace door, the foundation walls, the sump pump, and the radon test kit. Write each on a scrap of paper and let people pick. People work harder at a task they chose, and they complain about it in a way that sounds like fun.

3The crawlspace hour

Someone goes under with a headlamp and someone else stays at the hatch asking questions, which is the whole social engine of this party. Look for standing water, torn vapor barrier, dead animals, and insulation hanging down like tired bunting. The person under there gets first pick of the food.

4Walk the walls

The whole party does a slow lap of the foundation with coffees in hand. Hairline cracks get noted and forgotten. Horizontal cracks, stair-step cracks in brick, or a crack that's wider at one end get photographed and dated. Pin a leaf over nothing; flag the real ones.

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5The pump ceremony

Pour a bucket of water into the sump pit and let everyone watch the pump wake up. It should kick on, fire the water out a pipe well away from the house, and shut off cleanly. If it hesitates, that's the party's one bit of bad news, and it's better learned over snacks than during a storm.

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